Things To Discuss Before You Get Married

You are engaged. You are sure to discuss everything about planning your wedding. What colours do you want? What is your budget? Who are we inviting? In all that planning of the big day, many couples forget that they need to discuss and plan how life will be after that big day. Here are just a few of the topics of discussion you and your fiancée should think about looking over.

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1. Do you want children?  If you want children and your partner doesn’t, you need to ask yourself if you really are OK with not having them.
2. How many children do you want?  There are some people who are dead set on only having one child and if this is not what you had pictured for your family, this may be a great stress on your life.
3. What names do you like? This may not seem like a big deal, but there are many cultures that expect the children to be named after the grandparents and if you are not aware of this expectation, this may cause a problem.
4. Where do you want to live? Some people like to be close to one of their parents. This is a good plan, especially when you have children. Being far away from family can get lonely. Being too close to family can also be a cause for stress, so make sure this is part of your discussion.
5. Who will take care of the finances? In this day most couples have double income. Make sure you know who will be responsible for paying the bills. Many times the “I thought you paid that” fight shows up.
6. Who is responsible for what chores around the house? We are no longer living in the 1950s. Back then, everyone already had an idea of what the man did around the house and what the woman did. There was really no need for discussion. House responsibilities have changed but rarely do newlyweds discuss what their view of the changes are.  It might sound silly but write down who is responsible for taking out the garbage. This should avoid tension over expectations that were never discussed.
7. Who is responsible for what duties when it comes to children?  A wife may have come from a family where her father helped out with bringing the children their dance lessons and so she enters into a marriage thinking that her husband will do the same and the husband may have come from a situation in which his father did not take part in these duties and so he just assumed he wouldn’t be doing these types of things when he got married.

Putting aside some time to write down with your partner what you want your life to look like will not only avoid arguing over expectations you never discussed but will ensure you are on the same team when aiming for your life goals.
Happy Planning!